Astrology for people who lift. Answer eight questions about how you actually eat, and receive a reading of unsettling accuracy. No birth chart required; the fat percentage of your mince says more about you than the moon ever did.
The Butcher’s Horoscope
Eight answers. One reading. The mince knows who you are.
No data leaves your browser. The stars were not consulted; the butcher was.
The method
Method: none. Peer-reviewed: no. Accurate: unsettlingly. Every answer nudges you along the great spectrum that runs from supermarket agnostic to full ancestral doctrine, and the reading lands where you already knew it would. A horoscope is only wrong when it flatters you; this one has no such weakness.
Disagree with your reading?
Then change your order, not the test. The complete carnivore guide is where tourists become regulars, the food checker settles what belongs on the plate, and if the reading told you to apologise to your steak, the recipes are where you make it up to the cow.
